Today's Scare

Okay, well this weekend was a pretty good weekend. He saw his grandparents all weekend, both sets. On Friday, he did something somewhat weird with his eyes, that of course freaked me out, but all in all I think it was a mixture of dirt and dry eyes. On Saturday he was great, played all day, no nap! He slept good too! On Sunday we drove to my parents house. He was very clingy in the car, begging for me to get him out and hold him and just kind of whiny. Casey assumed he was tired but I was somewhat bothered by it. The day was overall a great day. We went shopping with my mom and nephew and although we were exhausted, had a good time. Ty was off and on needy with a horrible appetite. On the way home last night, he decided that he wanted something to eat so I gave him a snack. Well, as he was eating he cried and coughed, then threw up. After that, he seemed extremely fine. Casey and I had assumed that he had gagged on a piece of his snack. I still didn't sleep good, because I was concerned. I wondered how I would handle the first time he threw up after, and apparently not well. This morning he woke up happy but had off and on spats of neediness and complaining that his head hurt. I did see him scratch it, so really tried to convince myself that is all it was. However, I decided that it would be best  to call the on call Dr (who never actually called me) I paged 2 times and then one of the nurses from our nero's office called (which impressed me) I explained everything, in detail (obviously) and they said to be safe we needed to take him in to get a CT Scan. There is always a chance that fluid could build up and we needed to be safe. Luckily everything was fine. There was a little bit of fluid in the hole where the tumor was resected, but that is all and normal. As I am sure this will not be our first, it does break my heart. He did so well getting the scan, it actually made me a little sad. A 2 yr old should not be so familiar with these mean ole' machines. I want to be a normal mom with a normal 2 yr old who gets sick sometimes, but unfortunately we cannot take chances and right now; He is normal, but his situation is FAR from it. I know this is just the beginning and again, if this is the worse we have to deal with, I can deal with it. I wouldn't trade his recovery ever unless, I could completely take away the whole situation of course. Once he is older and can explain everything to me, things will be easier, I am confident in that. My prayer for today is that I can make good sound decisions in dealing with Ty's health. I pray that I can find the bounderies between being a normal concerned mom of a little boy who had surgery and a mom who has complete worry and fear over him getting sick again. I pray that I give all of this to God and that he guides me in the right direction every time we are faced with this situation and that my little boy always feels like he is very normal and very loved and that he doesn't grow up fearing doctors and fearing illnesses. A very wise man, my dad, told me that my worrying was right when he was sick, but not to assume it will always be that way and to pick my battles, basically. He is so very right. He is not telling me not to worry, he is telling me to worry when needed, but also know that he is a little 2 yr old and he WILL get sick again, he will throw up, he will one day have a headache, he will run fever, he will hit his head, etc etc. I have to just take it day by day and have faith. We had to take him in today and I know we did the right thing this time but I need to prepare myself for a recurrence and know how to handle it .

Isaiah 40:29-31  "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."