A Step Back

Well, as you probably already know through the wonderful world of Facebook, yesterday's followup didn't go as we wanted. We started the morning very early, 4:30 to be exact. We made it to Houston just in time, pretty positve, but very tired. They took Ty back for his MRI and of course I had to tell them that my wild little man had swallowed a penny weeks ago and because I am not a fan of digging thru his diaper, I had no idea if it passed..... sooooo, we had to do an x ray first. Ty hated it, but was a sport. As the camera came down, he was screaming in tears, and I said, say cheese. Being the good sport he is, he cried CHEEZE. It was precious. Then they come in to do the IV. That broke me, AGAIN. He was so upset. It scared him and made me ball. I thought, as I sat in the waiting room, that this would be the worse part of the day. Well, I was wrong. The MRI indicatd that there was a tiny fragment of the tumor left in his brain. It had showed up on previous MRI's but Dr. Dauser thought that it was blood or scar tissue, but unfortunately it was not. He said it has the features of the tumor and he had tried to get it all, but we know that that is difficult. He said that it wouldn't hurt Ty and would cause him no pain, but, if you don't get the entire tumor out, you do not have a complete cure and therefore have the risk of the tumor coming back at a later date. The best option would be to go in and remove that portion. The surgery would be much less riskier than the first for many reasons, one being that there is no fluid on the brain, and also that it should only take about 2 hours. We should only be in Texas Children's a few days. The oncologist agreed that this would be the best option, low grade tumor or not, getting it out gives the best results. I spent the day being very frustrated, having moments of breaking points and moments where my strength came out. I don't know how to feel. I hate to see my baby boy go through another surgery, but there is no other option to me. I know that things could be so much worse and I thank God that they are not. Even for a child with a low grade tumor, Ty has had a wonderful recovery, so I guess having a minor setback is to sometimes be expected. We are going on vacation in July and I want so bad to use that time for Casey and I to relax our minds and focus some of our time on us, which lately, our heads are only on our baby boy. His surgery will be in August, and then I hope we can move forward. I have faith that God will get us through this next surgery just as easy as the first. I pray that he will give me the strength to not let my sweet boy see me cry, to not see my moments of fear. I pray that I can allow myself to focus on all of the good, which is that my baby boy has the chance to be 100% cured. I pray that Ty knows every day how much his mommy and daddy love him and that we want him to be better and most importantly, I pray that I don't let my worry get the best of me again, that I can push through it and always keep God right beside me getting me through it.  The fragment is slightly smaller than the last MRI, so we will do one more MRI just in case it isn't a piece of the tumor or just dissolves, if that is possible,which has to be because With God, All things are Possible.

As days go by...

Well, it has been 3 months today since that horrible day; the day that a mother's worse fears are brought to light. I have been thinking about it alot lately. I think it is because Ty will go next Tuesday for his round of followup appointments; MRI, Neuro and an appt with the Oncologist, which just has me all wigged out. It is just protocol and I know he is healthy and doing perfect, but there are still days that I can't believe what he went through and days that I can't believe we have to go for these follow up appointments. I do, however, have a different feeling than I did the morning of the 16th, which was his first MRI. That morning I was full of fear, but had a glimmer of hope. I knew, however, that my baby was sick, so it was mainly fear. Going in to Tuesday, although I always worry with anesthesia, I am going in to those appts with faith and as a very proud mommy. I have faith that the hard part is over, that the doctors will say he is doing just as great as I know he is doing and that before we know it, these appts will be annual. I have found myself saying all to frequently that "I wish I could forget" but last night Casey and I were talking about it and I decided, since I know I will never forget, I never want to forget. Remembering just reminds me of what a miracle our Ty is and how mighty and powerful our God is. We serve such a big God! Sometimes we go about our day and we don't put him first every day, but I want to put him first, because HE is who healed my baby boy and HE can do anything that we ask him to do. With him on my side, I have no reason to fear.  There is a scripture on my computer that I was emailed after my miscarriage and I read it every day. Psalm 32:7, "For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory"

Seven Wonderful Years

Well, I am starting this blog with a happy 7th anniversary to my husband Casey. We were married 7 years ago on Sunday. On Saturday, we celebrated with shopping and dinner in the Woodlands and had an outstanding time. I am so blessed to be married to such an amazing guy. In 7 years, we have been through so much together and he has been my rock through it all. Our marriage continues to get stronger with every mountain we climb, from infertility, to miscarriages, to our most recent events with Ty's health. My sister told me before Casey and I met that somewhere God was preparing someone to meet me, that perfect person that would fit with me completely. Shortly after, I met Casey and in 3 months, we were engaged and one year were married. Casey is an incredible husband and an even more incredible dad. Ty is like his daddy in so many ways and I just love that! I see them together and I smile all the time. I have never seen Casey get discouraged, even when we went through the worse thing we could have imagined in March, he remained strong. I saw worry, but I also saw strength. I am so happy and proud to call him my husband. I love you Casey Dean.

Love is Awesome“Love suffers long, and is kind; love does not envy; love does not promote itself, is not puffed up, does not behave badly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails” 1Corinthians 13:4-8