A Step Back

Well, as you probably already know through the wonderful world of Facebook, yesterday's followup didn't go as we wanted. We started the morning very early, 4:30 to be exact. We made it to Houston just in time, pretty positve, but very tired. They took Ty back for his MRI and of course I had to tell them that my wild little man had swallowed a penny weeks ago and because I am not a fan of digging thru his diaper, I had no idea if it passed..... sooooo, we had to do an x ray first. Ty hated it, but was a sport. As the camera came down, he was screaming in tears, and I said, say cheese. Being the good sport he is, he cried CHEEZE. It was precious. Then they come in to do the IV. That broke me, AGAIN. He was so upset. It scared him and made me ball. I thought, as I sat in the waiting room, that this would be the worse part of the day. Well, I was wrong. The MRI indicatd that there was a tiny fragment of the tumor left in his brain. It had showed up on previous MRI's but Dr. Dauser thought that it was blood or scar tissue, but unfortunately it was not. He said it has the features of the tumor and he had tried to get it all, but we know that that is difficult. He said that it wouldn't hurt Ty and would cause him no pain, but, if you don't get the entire tumor out, you do not have a complete cure and therefore have the risk of the tumor coming back at a later date. The best option would be to go in and remove that portion. The surgery would be much less riskier than the first for many reasons, one being that there is no fluid on the brain, and also that it should only take about 2 hours. We should only be in Texas Children's a few days. The oncologist agreed that this would be the best option, low grade tumor or not, getting it out gives the best results. I spent the day being very frustrated, having moments of breaking points and moments where my strength came out. I don't know how to feel. I hate to see my baby boy go through another surgery, but there is no other option to me. I know that things could be so much worse and I thank God that they are not. Even for a child with a low grade tumor, Ty has had a wonderful recovery, so I guess having a minor setback is to sometimes be expected. We are going on vacation in July and I want so bad to use that time for Casey and I to relax our minds and focus some of our time on us, which lately, our heads are only on our baby boy. His surgery will be in August, and then I hope we can move forward. I have faith that God will get us through this next surgery just as easy as the first. I pray that he will give me the strength to not let my sweet boy see me cry, to not see my moments of fear. I pray that I can allow myself to focus on all of the good, which is that my baby boy has the chance to be 100% cured. I pray that Ty knows every day how much his mommy and daddy love him and that we want him to be better and most importantly, I pray that I don't let my worry get the best of me again, that I can push through it and always keep God right beside me getting me through it.  The fragment is slightly smaller than the last MRI, so we will do one more MRI just in case it isn't a piece of the tumor or just dissolves, if that is possible,which has to be because With God, All things are Possible.